I cannot share my feed, though, as it is a bit too revealing and while I do not mind sharing my innermost thoughts with you, random people who take a wrong turn, get lost, and find your way here… no one in my life knows I do this. It is not a secret, though, I just haven’t figured out how to tell them. I told my husband that I was going to start a blog (after it was already started, like, months ago), but he is not a “reader” and has not asked about it since, so we can assume that he will not be visiting. As for my friends, well, how’s that supposed to go down?
Hey, y’all! I’m a closet narcissist! Read my blog where I talk about myself all the time!
Hey, friends, why don’t you take time out of your already busy lives to read my blog? Because you can never get enough ME!
I guess if they asked, I would not lie about it, but you know, how does that question arise?
And there is no way in hell I’m telling my family. My sister can’t keep a secret, my mother would NOT approve nor would that be a welcome commentary, and my brother is a DUDE.
I can, however, tell you all about who I follow on Twitter. Here are some examples:
@johncusack Because it’s John Cusack? And he’s awesome? He tweets a LOT, he responds to some tweets, and he is SUPER political. Who knew? What he lacks in humor, he makes up for in earnest activism. I thought I was in love with him before, but now I really am. Because he fights with trolls. And wins. He will not tweet me back, but that’s because he’s all smart n shit, and I’m all “you’re so cute, John, I love you and want to have your babies, John”.
@stevemartin Because he is charming & funny, even on Twitter. He does not respond to tweets, as best I can tell.
@nathanfillion Because he is Castle. And hot. And sexy. And sometimes he devotes entire days to twittering mediocre, oversimplified advice (his words) to questions random people tweet him. He does it well. He has staunchly ignored all of my tweets to him, but I will wear him down. Mark my words, I will wear him down.
@HonestToddler Because even though I do not have children, this is the funniest twitter shit I have ever read and I believe this person truly does channel the inner thoughts of their toddler. Toddlers, of course, are borderline sociopath. Cute! Probably going to turn out okay! But sociopath.
@TheBloggess Because she is the most charming and disarming and hilarious of bloggers, and, frankly, I adore her.
@JimCarrey Because he really is insane. And maybe not in the good way.
@salmanrushdie Because he is Salman. Fucking. Rushdie.
@Meryl_Streep Because she never posts so it doesn’t clog up my twitter feed, but when she does, it’s Meryl… tweeting. Can you imagine?
I know these are all celebrities or famous bloggers or whathaveyou, but what can I say? Who else am I going to tell you about? Aunt Mary? Cuz she’s boring and you probably don’t want her giblet dressing recipe 140 characters at a time.
If you have any fun twitterers that you follow, I am game! I try not to just add everyone willy-nilly because I want to be able to stay current on my feed, but I got some folks I could boot to make room, if you know what I mean.